


NightMares

by stargazing_principessa



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Crying, Dreams and Nightmares, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Feelings Realization, Night Terrors, Pain, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-22
Updated: 2018-06-27
Packaged: 2019-05-26 21:29:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,038
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15009821
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stargazing_principessa/pseuds/stargazing_principessa
Summary: Following season 5 anytime after episode 5x06. Clarke has a nightmare about Bellamy and he hears her and comes in to comfort her. Things happen from there.





	1. Breaking open

**Author's Note:**

> So this is my very first Fic. I am nervous to post but too excited and devoted not to.
> 
> I've posted a teaser of this on tumblr already to see if I was any good but I want to continue this story so I am posting here.  
> I love Bellamy and Clarke with all my heart and I just want them to be happy and together. This fic is for them and I hope I do them justice. (Becho is mentioned but this is a Bellarke love story)

_"love is the greatest of dreams, yet the worst of nightmares" - William Shakespeare_

CLARKE POV:

 

_His face, his face is all I see at first. Warm dark eyes that contain a spark of mischief mixed with a deep knowing. Inky curls that have my fingertips aching to run through them. His smile that is so bright and so Bellamy that tears immediately spring to my eyes. His form grows and before I know it I have all of my Bellamy, my strong beautiful Bellamy standing in front of me._

_And then he is reaching for me, his hand ghosting along my arm up to my face. I lean my cheek into his palm immediately and try to cup my hand around his to keep it there. I can smell him, even in my dreamland I can smell him. The heady scent of pine, rain and a faint burnt undertone warms me to my core. It's so strong that I feel like I'm swimming in him. He is everywhere._

_"Bell" I whimper searching for more of his warmth, for more of him. My hands reach up to grasp his shimmering form but I can't seem to hold onto him. His eyes bore into mine and a heat lights up my insides as i will my feelings to show in my own gaze. I feel his palm warm and heavy on my cheek but I can't feel the rest of him. I need him to know, need him to feel that I am here, that I need him. That I want him more than anything! He's right here so why can't I touch him, why can't I hold him?_

_My answer comes when his palm on my cheek turns into a graze as it retreats taking all the warmth from my body with it. "No!" I gasp trying to grab his hand, however my clutch finds nothing. My hands reach forward to capture his face. But I can't, he is like smoke, my fingers just rip through his image. I am forced then to watch as the distance between us grows._

_His body is turning from me but his eyes remain on mine. Still so dark, still so deep but another emotion passes them. A confusion, an absence. It's like he doesn't register that it's me in front of him. Somethings wrong here._

_"Bellamy" I say in a broken voice trying again but failing to go to him. My feet won't move, can't move. And then I see an arm encircle his bicep from behind and a hand, a hand that is not mine, come up and palm Bellamy's cheek to turn his face away from me. He goes willingly, a frown across his brow before his eyes are dragged from mine._

_"No!" I cry clutching my chest to try and ease away the fear rising there. I will my body forward, but it's futile. The dream traps me here, I can only watch. Echo pulls Bellamy into her arms and I see her lean intimately into his neck and whisper something to him. Panic fills me._

_"No! Bellamy...Bell get away from her!" I shout trying to desperately shove myself towards him. I have no idea what she is saying to him but I need to get him away from her now. He doesn't seem to hear me, eyes focused on nothing as he intently listens to Echo._

_I can't bare to watch this, my chest aches and I feel a wave of nausea bring bile to my throat. I try to turn, to shut my eyes and block it all out but my nightmare won't let me. This dream seems so real. The pain is so raw as I am forced to watch Echo paw her way at Bellamy._

_She touches him in such a way that causes my fists to ball up and a cry to ring out of my mouth. Her long fingers trace along his arms and chest so seductively, it sickens me. She is still mouthing at his neck while he drops his head to listen. He slowly encircles his own arms around her waist and I break a little more at that._

_"Bellamy, Bell please, please look at me! Don't listen to her, look at me!" I desperately beg. Tears are running down my face and my eyes feel heavy with there weight._

_They both ignore me and Echo continues her heavy petting while grinning into his neck. Bellamy squeezes her waist before reaching a hand up to lift Echo's chin and drag her closer to his face. His eyelids flutter as I cry silently having to witness what can only be described as adoration in his eyes as he gazes at Echo. He inches his face downward and Echo lifts up, beaming, while running her hands through his curls._

_I snap._

_"BELLAMY BLAKE!" I scream and my painful outburst seems to jar both of them as he lifts his eyes slowly to meet mine. I see then what was missing in his gaze from earlier. A familiarity. The thought cuts through my mind like blade drawing blood from the deepest wound._

_He has no idea who I am. And my thought is confirmed with the questioning tilt of his head and furrowed brow on his beautiful face._

_" Do you know who that is?" He asks Echo softly while also ripping a strangled sob from my chest and a hole through my soul._

_Echo merely glances at me with a sweet smile cups Bellamy's face in her hands and whispers "She's no one, love. She's nothing"_

I wake up with a scream.

Not uncommon, as nightmares have been a companion of mine since I came to the ground. I wipe my face and feel the wet residue of the tears that stain my cheeks. I sniff and sit up in my cot and try to wipe my sticky face. I thank whatever God there is that Madi is bunking with Indra and Niylah tonight while she trains, as I can't have her see me like this. I can't have anyone see me like this.

I glance over at the empty cot next to mine and I choke out a cry at how lonely I feel right now. Images of my dream then float alongside the feeling of this loneliness and I press my palms into my eyes as a heavy sob gets caught in my throat and fresh tears spring to my eyes. I try and block the dream from resurfacing by clenching my entire body and holding my breath. I try to squeeze out the pain even if it only lasts a second.

That is how he finds me. With my knees to my chest, toes curling, shoulders shaking and hands pressing into my wet blotchy face.

I don't here him come in, don't even feel his presence as I try start to shiver from the needle like pains that course through my body from clenching my muscles so hard. A whimper breaks through my lips as my toes start cramping and tears continue to leak into my palms.

"Clarke"

Its so soft and so gentle and so full of concern that it must shock him when I cry out and flinch backwards hitting my back against the metal pole of the tent. Bellamy jolts back at my quick movements but steels himself and crouches a bit to not seem so overbearing in the small tent and my equally small form.

I can't actually process him being here as flashes of my dream still run through my mind. My body is shaking and my eyes water further when I know that he has never seen me like this. And I can't have him see me like this now. However with all of that in my mind, I simply cannot find the strength to tell him to leave or to turn away from him.

 

BELLAMY POV: 

 

I heard the scream as I made my way from the bunker to my tent. Its the middle of the night so most are asleep around the camp. The scream is broken and short but I knew who it was immediately and I knew I had to get to her NOW. My body seemed just as eager as I found myself outside of her tent in a few seconds.

I hesitate when I here a shuffle of movement and a sniff. I take a deep breath and try to reason with myself as to why I should and should not go inside this tent. The battle rages between my head and the my heart. But it's not as simple as that anymore, it's like I'm trying fight a battle between who I used to be and who I am now, who I HAD to become.

The old Bellamy would have barged in there no questions asked, but I can't do that anymore. I'm not stupid enough to not notice and acknowledge the distance between Clarke and I. We have barely spoken since Octavia bonded young Madi to her Wonkru. Not from lack of want or need but even before then, I could feel it, a wall. A wall separating me from one of the best and most beautiful things I have in this miserable life. There is so much I have to tell her. However my inner battle is cut short as soon as I hear a muffled cry of pain from inside the tent.

I'm inside before I even know what I've done and my heart clenches at the sight before me. Clarke is huddled into a ball on her cot and is clenching her entire shaking body so hard that I can see the muscles in her calf's and biceps strain. Her small hands hide her face as she tries to suppress a whimper of distress.

"Clarke" I breathe it out, not even to get her attention but more so a reaction to seeing this beautiful, strong woman crumble right before me.

At my voice she jerks away so quickly that I hear the collide between her back and one of the tent's poles. I jolt too at her sudden movement but the reel myself back in and crouch down to try and seem less invasive and threatening.

I expect her to tell me she's fine when clearly she is not, or yell at me to leave when all I want to do is stay. I expect her to shut me out which seems to be so natural for her now, but I'm surprised when all she does is draw up her knees and wipe a trembling hand over her streaming face. Once she's at least a little satisfied with her clean up she lifts he gaze to me and something inside me cracks open.

 

* * *

 

 


	2. Exhale

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I continuation of the previous chapter. Words are said, things are felt. Its fluffy and slow and soft.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm continuing the shifting POV however Clarke is easier to write. I have made it quite fluffy instead of too angsty as I feel like we are so starved of soft intimate moments between these two on the show so I needed that here. My other fics will be more rough and raw. I hope you enjoy this next chapter.

CLARKE POV: 

 

I see the wariness in his posture and expression as I manage a fleeting glance at Bellamy as I try to clean up my face. I manage to contain a small sniffle and hiccup and finally move my eyes to his.

I watch the change happen before either one of us can move or talk. It's like one minute he is one person, a shadow of himself. The man who came down from the sky after six years; and then the next moment He is there. MY Bellamy is right there, here. I can see it in his eyes, those same eyes that gave me forgiveness so many times, the same man that built our bond on 'together'.

A warmth returns to the tiny tent space his presence now inhabits, and I can see how his shoulders shake from the strain to let his guard down and let his emotions flood him. But he is safe here, with me, just as vulnerable; just as broken.

I can't control myself suddenly and my body just takes over. The next thing I hear is a strangled cry escape my lips as I release my legs; kneel up on the cot and I reach out for him. Distance between us is the enemy and he is in front of me immediately destroying that enemy with his powerful body. On his knees beside my cot so his is only a little taller than me; he cups my warm red cheeks in his equally warm palms.

I clutch onto him for dear life; one hand on his bicep, another gripping tightly at his chest. I'm panting, starved of touch and heat. His touch and His heat.

"I missed you so much!" I cry and a sob breaks free from my lips as I gaze into his onyx eyes filled with so much emotion for me, for ME. I cry more at that realization and he shushes me while pressing warm soft kisses to my blotchy and sticky forehead.

"I know, I know. I'm here baby I'm right here. God Clarke you have no idea what you do to me, what you mean to me." The passion in his words makes me whimper and I shake at the rough tone of his voice.

My hand on his chest moves to cover his heart. His hands framing my face tilt me up and make me look him in the eyes.

"I almost died up there without you Clarke."

I'm not expecting his hushed words. But the pain and truth heavily shrouded with guilt I see shining in his eyes makes a tear leak from mine. I stay silent; not trusting myself to utter anything other than a sob.

"I couldn't understand why or how I could live anymore when you weren't up there to live with me, and for all I knew you weren't here to go back to. But I knew I had to stay alive.... my sister. So I made a vow then, head and heart. I made a vow to be the man you needed me to be up there. Even if you weren't there, all I did; I did to honor you." He chokes out, tears brimming in his own eyes but fierce conviction keeps them from falling. He is trying to explain, to make me understand why and how it was different, why he was different coming down.

"But here you are and.....and fuck Clarke if I had known, If I had just waited!" The self hate and utter devastation in his voice jolt me and a shake my head rapidly and grab his face; terrified that once he has revealed all this he would close off again. His eyes are shut tight and I watch as they squeeze out tears. I catch them quickly with my thumbs and press my forehead to his; forgiving him instantly.

We breathe each other in and the sound of his harsh breathing fills the tent before I manage to speak.

"I almost died too."

Its a little more than a whisper as it escapes my raw throat but Bellamy's eyes flash open wide in shock. His mouth is parted but he knows that its my turn to speak. I swallow deeply and try to find some strength to my voice.

"I was so lonely Bellamy, I was so alone. This was before Madi. There was no food, no water, no life. Everything, everyone I knew was gone. Death was all that was left.....so I almost, I tried..." I took a breath and closed my eyes when I realized I was hyperventilating slightly and Bell noticed too, stroking one hand up and down my arm and back slowly while wiping sweat from my brow with the other. He let me breathe, he let me take my time telling him this.

When my breathing starts to slow, my mind remains slightly foggy. Bell is so close and his touch, his warmth; although so comforting and soft sends gooseflesh rippling through my skin. I realize how this is the first time since he reunited with me that I've had such physical contact from anyone other than Madi. I rein in the urge to shamelessly fall into is arms and let him just take everything away. My thoughts slow however when I realize he is waiting patiently for me to continue.

"There was a bird and then I found Eden, then Madi. Things were better." I rush breathlessly not sure if I was making sense. But I want him to know, I want him to know everything. I take the hand cupping my cheek and bring it so I interlock my fingers with his. He gasps at my gesture but is otherwise silent, his fingers never cease their calming strokes. I gaze up into his eyes again and will my chest to stop beating so hard. The look in his eyes disarm me and I gasp at the pure adoration and admiration I find there. He is so beautiful.

"I have to tell you....I have to tell you something" I whisper trying to ignore the heat growing in my stomach, my eyes never leaving his.

"Tell me something" he breathes back and I can't stop my eyes from going to his lips.

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank You SO much again for reading!!  
> My kudos and comments spurred me forth and I truly hope you are not disappointed. Please keep the feedback coming though, there is more. 
> 
> Much love xx


	3. Something

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things get more intense, more heated.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am sorry this took so long. No excuses. I hope you enjoy this next addition. I'm definitely going to be writing more in this hiatus.

BELLAMY POV: 

Her eyes drop to my lips and I can't help the flush of heat that rushes through my body. From all she's told me now, I can't see myself ever letting her leave my arms again. The pain and guilt I feel at her admissions flood me and I feel choked with grief that I may never forgive myself for leaving her behind. But now looking into her oceanic eyes still damp with tears, I know with all my heart that she will give me that forgiveness if I can't find a way to give it to myself.

"You asked me.... how....how I survived down here." she says softly, eyes following her hand covering my heaving chest. I bet everything that she can feel my pulse beating madly from her attention. The hand I had been running up and down her arms stills and I grasp her hip tightly when she suddenly leans forward and presses her lips to the place where the hand covering my heart had been. I'm unable to process such a gentle movement and my body unwillingly releases a shiver. It takes everything I have not to lean forward and take what I thought would never be mine, never could be mine.

She lifts her head and smiles shyly at what she has just done, however she does not try to hide away from me. We are done hiding. I let out a a deep yet shaken breath I hadn't known I had kept in and she smiles at me in a way that any man or woman would kill for, from a person they love. I realize I'm shaking when she decides to continue speaking.

"I was right when I told you that I hadn't been....alone, I did have Madi. She saved my life. So did Eden, my home." She takes a breath and I can see her try and process the memories that accompany what she is telling me. A crinkle adorns her forehead and I know how hard this must be for her. Jesus she survived an apocalypse and raised a child all by herself and now I'm making her relive all that.

I'm suddenly overcome with a wave of rage. the anger not directed at her; Madi or even the fucking apocalypse and this Earth that is hell bent on killing us. No the anger I feel is solely personal. I hate myself for not being there with her, for her. I shake slightly when I too am overcome with memories. Space was hard, everything I did was clouded with grief. Until I felt like I was ready to die; then Murphy, the asshole I now trust, he saved my life. He pulled me back with the help of Raven. They all helped me.....helped me move on and let go. Let go of her. I fucking hate myself most of all for that. I chose to give up, to move on.

Clarke must feel my inner turmoil and a sharp ache runs through me as I realize how much I don't deserve the concern and devotion I find in those blue eyes. She takes in my heavy breathing and shaking form quietly, but I feel the burn of her eyes and I turn away slightly. Leaning my body back and letting my hands drop to my sides. I can't hurt her anymore. I'm wrong for her.

"Bell..." It's a gasp in fear as she acknowledges the distance encroaching between us.

I try and fight myself, squeezing my fists. She is so perfect, all I want is to chase away that fear I hear in her voice. To hold her, never let her go.

"Bellamy please don't go, please....I...I can't....please just don't leave, not yet." The terror in her voice breaks me and my eyes widen in shock. I grasp her tightly and pull her close again. Idiot!

"No, no no Clarke. Beautiful I'm here, I'm not going anywhere I promise. Clarke shit I just... I...I don't want to hurt you."

"Bellamy, the only way you can hurt me is to leave me right now."

I lean my head forward again letting it meet hers. I breathe her in and whisper the only words I think of that will let her know that I'm here, I am Here:

"Brave Princess."

 

CLARKE POV: 

I gasp at the name, and I can't help the butterflies that erupt within me making me release a sound that is more of a watery giggle. Bell's eyes flash to mine as the sound escapes me and I swear his gaze darkens and a flush creeps up his neck. I beam at him when his reaction to me is so heating and he chuckles lowly.

"Clarke.....what you do to me." He breathes roughly and nuzzles my temple. I nuzzle him back and inhale his scent which unlike my nightmare, smells like deep wood and his sweat with hints of citrus. It smells so good and so real that all I want to do is see if it tastes just as good. I stop myself though and tilt my head back to get back to his eyes.

He grins down at me in such a boyish way it makes my heart jump ridiculously fast. I can't believe how happy and young he looks as he gazes down at me. He really is back, my Bellamy. I swallow another lump in my throat at how much I have missed him.

I lean up quickly to give the smallest, softest peck to the corner of his mouth moving away just as quick. A growl rumbles through his chest in a response and the vibrations I feel through his body cause me to gasp and my head to swim.

Both his hands come to my waist and suddenly I am pulled tight against him. Our torsos meeting with force. I mewl when his lips ghost along my jaw and I tilt my head unconsciously to the side so he can have more access.

My eyes flutter shut as I grasp tightly onto his arms. My entire body bucks when he mouths at my pulse point wetly and my entire core spasms causing me to cry out. H

is fingers squeeze my waist as he leans back eyes blown and mouth parted. My chest is heaving causing the swell of my breasts to bounce slightly. Bellamy's eyes glance down to my rapidly beating chest. I clench my fingers into his upper arms and whimper as I feel a flood of wet heat below my stomach as I see the heat in his eyes.

I feel like I can only breathe when he is touching me.

Everything is happening so fast and I know I need to tell him more, tell him everything and there is so much going on around us that goes against whatever the fuck we are doing right now but I don't care.

I need and want this man more than I've wanted and needed anything. And in this tiny cramped tent, in this war camp, at the dead of night... I have him.

 

* * *

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again for reading!! Comments and kudos are a blessing.
> 
> I hope you fair well in this short hiatus!

**Author's Note:**

> THANK YOU SO MUCH if you have taken the time to read this!  
> Please kudos and comments will be so appreciated and welcome. Helpful suggestions and prompts are also golden so if you wish to let me know if you would like more angst, fluff or smuttyness then please do. I am writing to share my love for these characters and this show with this incredibly fandom and would love to hear from anyone!
> 
> Much love to you xx.


End file.
